I mentioned the \u201cmeta model\u201d yesterday and how it can be used to challenge unhelpful beliefs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a questioning technique that prompts your subject to explore and clarify their assumptions and generalizations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s rather simple (and boring), but it\u2019s incredibly useful for instilling doubt and breaking down stubborn beliefs that are standing in the way of your success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yesterday, I suggested you work on the belief \u201cwomen don\u2019t find me attractive\u201d since it holds most men back from massive success in the dating game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I was walking a client through the reframing process and wanted to apply the meta model, I would start with a list of challenging questions, such as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNONE of them find you attractive? Not a single woman on the planet has even been attracted to you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow do you know FOR SURE that women aren\u2019t attracted to you? Can you list the behaviors a woman might display when she\u2019s attracted? If not, how do you know you\u2019re not just missing the signs?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat is it about women not being attracted to you that bothers you so much? What\u2019s the real issue?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And they might respond like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, I guess some women find me attractive because I\u2019ve had girlfriends in the past, but it\u2019s not usually the women I\u2019m attracted to. I don\u2019t really know the signs, so I guess it\u2019s possible that some girls are showing interest and I just don\u2019t see it. I\u2019m worried about this because if women aren\u2019t attracted to me, I\u2019ll probably never have a girlfriend and end up alone forever.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Ok, so we loosened up their stance and got some additional information. Let\u2019s keep going\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s extremely common for men to struggle with attracting the women they \u2018really like.\u2019 Do you think you might be acting differently with the women you like vs. the ones you\u2019re not interested in?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIn fact, I know many guys who are far less physically attractive than you and still have girls all over them. Maybe your physical attractiveness isn\u2019t the real issue here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you aware that attraction works differently for women than for men? For instance, a girl you\u2019re not attracted to will rarely make you change your mind, no matter how amazing she might be. But a woman who doesn\u2019t find you attractive at first can end up head-over-heels for you, if you start behaving in an attractive way (aka: flirt with her like a boss).\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re only going to end up alone if you let this crappy attitude stop you from working on yourself and learning the rules of the dating game. Guys who are nowhere near as sharp as you have mastered it, which means that you can, too, with a little bit of effort. Is it worth the time investment if it near-guarantees you\u2019ll never end up alone?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n So now I\u2019ve moved into offering up different viewpoints and helping my client see the problem (and the solution) from various angles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And they might respond with:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYeah, it all makes sense. I don\u2019t think I\u2019m horrible looking but I lack confidence in myself sometimes. When I really like a girl, I get stuck in my head and worry too much about saying the right thing. I know that makes me come across as needy and unsure which most likely turns them off.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n