Lots of guys felt the sting of last week’s “lover vs. provider” warning. Jim knows first-hand how it feels to get yanked from the lover category…
“OMG Jay! You nailed it on this post.
I once made the incredibly stupid mistake of helping a girlfriend with money. I know, rookie move, but her massive boo-bees (firm natty DD’s) made me weak.
The biggest problem wasn’t losing the money, it was that moving into “the provider category” completely destroyed the rapport and tone of the relationship.
Hard lesson learned. Where the fuk were you when I first needed to know this stuff?” – Jim T
I feel you, Jim. The hard lessons are the best lessons.
Someone else had a quick question…
“So we shouldn’t be spending money on women at all? – Sal
It’s not about the fact you’re spending money but HOW you spend the money that matters. This is tricky to explain, but I’ll do my best…
Most guys spend way too much up front, trying to impress women with fancy dates, dinners, etc. Other guys get roped in with good se-x and end up getting slow-played by pros looking to extract resources.
Both of these traps are easy to fall into, since beautiful women are one of the most addictive substances on the planet. But once you slip up, you’ll quickly get pigeonholed as a “provider” guy, and lose all the tasty perks that the lover category has to offer.
Luckily, the lover strategy is quite simple.
Women want FUN before anything else. Give them fun times and great se-x and you’ll be good to go.
But since the average guy believes he’s incapable of offering either, he’ll try to make up for his shortcomings by throwing cash around.
What he doesn’t realize is that money won’t make the girl more attracted to the guy spending it (unless he’s using it to create fun and excitement).
So… to avoid the provider trap, keep your initial dates low-key and make sure to sleep with the woman as quickly as possible (3rd date at the latest), because your goal is to hook her with se-x.
Yes, you’ll have to lay out some cash along the way, so stick to shared experiences only (meals/dates but nothing too expensive and definitely no gifts or direct cash infusions into her barren bank account).
Also, make sure that se-x is the primary focus of the time you spend together.
This simple strategy minimizes your upfront costs and sets the proper tone for the relationship. Once she’s hooked, you have plenty of room to make things more serious later on, if you choose to. (It’s rare that a woman will fall in love with you before you’re sleeping together so make this happen FAST.)
Once you’ve established a strong foothold in the lover category, it is, in fact, possible to avoid slipping into the provider category, even when you decide to become more “generous” (e.g., helping her pay bills, etc.).
Look, if you have a burning desire to pay off a girl’s student loans, I won’t try to stop you. But at least make her EARN it, for God’s sake. Has she proven herself as a loving, loyal girlfriend for a minimum of six months? (If not, what in the heck are you thinking? C’mon, man!)
If your girl flat-out asks for money early on, just consider it a test and put her on double-secret probation. Don’t make a big deal about it, but don’t give in, either.
There’s no benefit to becoming her piggy bank, because there’s nothing in it for YOU. She’s not going to become more attracted and you’re leaving the door wide open to be cheated on in the future.
I highly recommend using the secret 2-letter word that’ll have her wetter than a nun doing squats in a cucumber patch. (Hint: It rhymes with “ho.”)
If you’ve been stuck in the provider category and you’re looking to escape, you could potentially pull it off by hooking her with se-x (by introducing her to Mindvana, for instance) and doing a few other things to flip the power balance in your favor.
But why make things hard for yourself? Just find a new girl and set things up properly from the get-go.
And speaking of seducing new women with ninja-level seduction techniques, when the new batch of Mindvana videos release next Monday, you can scoop up the unreleased “Seduction Mastery Videos” which will teach you nearly everything I know about meeting and seducing women.
Once you learn these tools (and combine them with Mindvana), you’ll be able to give women an experience they can’t get anywhere else. (As I mentioned last week, this leads to a coveted spot at the top of their “little black book.”)
As a provider, you’ll constantly need to shell out gifts to keep her coming back. But when you’re a lover, your mere presence in her life is gift enough.
And if you want your loving to be the gift that keeps on giving, then get your head in the game and start studying up. Mindvana Lite is best way to get your feet wet and see what’s actually possible when you introduce women to the wonders of hypnotic language,
And the tutorial video I put together for you is 100% fr-ee of charge. Go check it out if you haven’t already:
Ciao for now,
Youtube: learn hypnosis in nyc