A reader has a question about breakups…
“Jay I have a lot of neediness problems with girls. My biggest problem is getting over a girl who breaks up with me. I feel a lot of pain and have a hard time moving on. Any tip for this?” – Ari
It’s always tough to lose a girl you care about. Our minds tend to trick us into thinking we can’t live without them.
Many times, the emotional pain is completely disproportionate to the time we’ve spent with them. I know from experience it’s not usual to become completely obsessed with a girl you barely know.
The hotter the girl, the most likely this is to happen, but it can also happen with girls you weren’t that crazy about in the beginning, especially if they’ve mastered the art of mixed signals (aka “stripper game”).
The first step to getting past this is realizing that your mind is tricking you, especially if you’ve spent less than 6 months together.
Trust me… she ain’t that special. In fact, it’s quite probable she’s a train wreck in disguise and you just dodged a major bullet.
But it’s not easy to convince our stubborn brains to let go of the obsession. You’re gonna have to roll up your sleeves and put some work in.
Start by attacking the beliefs that support the problem (which is the same approach you’d take when a client sits down in your hypnosis chair).
For instance, let’s say you’ve been telling yourself that the girl you’re crazy about is special/one-in-a-million/perfect for me, etc. and that it’ll be extremely difficult to get over her.
Take the first belief (“she’s perfect for me”) and work on dismantling it.
List all of her bad habits and negative attributes that you didn’t like but tolerated because you liked her. Remind yourself of all the qualities she was missing that you wished she had. Imagine how much worse things would have gotten 5 years from now if you stayed together.
And then start to list all the reasons why the breakup might have been a blessing in disguise and potentially saved you from years of misery.
For the second belief (“it’s gonna be hard to get over her”), I like to remind myself of all the girls I used to be crazy about but haven’t thought about in forever.
“Lets see, there was my ex I spent 8 years with, the ADD girl from San Diego, that stripper I met in Tampa, the Dominican girl who didn’t speak English, those 2 cuties who worked at my restaurant, the Italian girl who always forgot to take her bipolar medicine, the Arabic girl whose brothers wanted to murder me, my crush back in 4th grade who flaked on our roller skating date…”
And on and on it goes.
I can remember being completely nuts about all of these girls, telling myself how special they were and that I’d never be able to get over them. And now, I can barely remember their names.
We’ve all felt the pain of heartbreak many, many times, and we’ve all eventually healed and moved on.
Which means you’re gonna get over this one, too, because she ain’t that special. Your mind is just messing with you.
“But Jay … she’s a top 2% content creator on OnlyFans!”
In that case, go beg for a second chance with 4 dozen roses and a 4 caret ring because that’s wifey material, right there.
Anyhoo, there’s a few other tricks you can use to wipe away the pain of a breakup, but that’s enough to get you started. I’d also recommend filling up your pipeline with potential prospects.
And one of the easiest ways to do this, is by offering to show some cuties “something interesting about how your mind works” and then blow their minds with Mindvana Lite, which you can learn right here:
Ciao for now,
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