My Christ-Like Sexual Conversion Technique that Takes Women to Heaven

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been talking a lot about “snatching souls.” So today, I’m gonna switch it up and teach you one of my favorite techniques for capturing hearts.

Not to worry… this technique is 100% Jesus-approved and guaranteed to get you rubber-stamped at Heaven’s Gates.

Before we dive in, I understand that most people on my mailing list may not understand my humor, especially if English isn’t their first language. And some of my recent emails have been a little over the top, and contain goofy jokes about the devil (a nod to all the wackos who think hypnosis is the devil’s work).

(If you’ve missed any of my emails, then take a peek in your spam box because I’ve been on a roll lately, thanks to this crazy lockdown.)

Now, before I get mistaken for one of Satan’s minions, let me just say that I’ve gotten myself in the habit of joking about everything under the sun. NOTHING is off limits to me.

So when I jestingly claim to “snatch women’s souls,” I assure you there’s nothing nefarious going down. I’m a satirist, not a Satanist. 😉

(And I do appreciate all the messages assuring me that I’m doing the Lord’s work.)

Now, in case you weren’t aware, almost every woman desires to have her heart and mind “snatched up” by the man they love, and will willingly surrender a level of power and control.

On the flip side, they pray every night that they’ve submitted to a benevolent individual who would never abuse the power they’ve been bestowed. Women want to feel like you have the ability to crush them emotionally, but to also know that you’d never take things that far.

Regardless, a woman can’t truly love a man without making herself incredible vulnerable. Trust me when I say that she WANTS you to possess her soul.

Or, if you prefer a sappier metaphor, to be the custodian of her heart.

(Sometimes the janitor DOES get the girl. Especially if he’s a Mindvana student.)

Onward to the tactics…

The first is one of the staples of my, yet-to-be-named, nuclear-enhanced falling-in-love protocol.

Now… when it comes to delivering compliments, you’re much better off keeping them toned-down, then drowning your girl in sappy platitudes.

But the mushy stuff does have its place; especially when it comes to making a woman fall head-over-heels in love.

And the best time to sound like a Hallmark card is immediately after she o-gasms. Here’s the sequence…

First, you’ll use your Mindvana techniques (dirty talk, sensitivity switches, o-gasm triggers, etc.) in the bedroom to make her tremble in your arms during intercourse. Then, as she’s coming down from her internal earthquake, you’ll start gently kissing her face while clogging her ears up with sucrose.

You’ll say things like:

“You look so beautiful when you cu-m.”

“Seeing you like this makes me feel so close to you.”

“You make me so happy when you explode for me.”

“Your moans made my heart vibrate.”

…along with any other cheese-ball lines that come to mind. Lay it on thick, but be sure to mean what you say (she’ll know if you’re lying).

You can also “love bomb” the living crap out of her during this time (taught in the 7-Day Quick Start Course).

Tell her that she’s beautiful, special, powerful, captivating, etc. Tell her you can’t stop staring into her eyes. Call her a goddess in human form.

Make her feel like she’s the most desirable woman you’ve ever laid eyes on.

And once she’s basking in your loving embrace, you’ll slowly start up round #2 by smoothly transitioning to rougher, more dominant se-x, while letting all sorts of filthy things pop of your mouth – things that would make a true Satanist turn beet red.

“So wait, I should tell her she’s a beautiful little princess and then, seconds later, call her my filthy little whore???”

Yeah, pretty much. Do this properly and, not only will you be massively enhancing her self-esteem, but also giving her the kind of sexual experience that 99% of women are pining after.

Even more importantly, as I explained in the secret relationship tactics video hidden in the depths of Mindvana Gold (the one taken from the fabled Seduction Mastery Course that I’ve been too lazy to complete), you’re doing much more than just enhancing her self-esteem…

You’re also linking a massive amount of pleasure to the act of surrendering to you, while training her to let herself go even more in the bedroom.

And why might this be important?

Because women hold themselves back, A LOT – especially during se-x, and especially during o-gasm.

As a man, you can’t possibly comprehend this. But the female mind is constantly polluted with negative thoughts and fears of looking foolish/silly/unattractive, etc. no matter where she is or what she’s doing.

It’s incredibly hard for her to let go both mentally and physically so that she can truly enjoy se-x, even when she’s on the verge of o-gasm.

The technique you just learned helps a girl feel comfortable becoming vulnerable with you. And that equates to more pleasure during se-x, and, ultimately, leads to her bonding to you on a very deep level.

She gets to feel like a princess and will gift you her heart, in return. And I promise that Jesus will 100% approve of your efforts.

I have one more simple tactic for you today, and it works even better when your girl is crazy about you.

Quick story: my new Russian girl asked me to come to Miami for a fourth of July boat party with all of her girlfriends. I politely turned her down without giving much of an explanation.

And, not surprisingly, she got pissed.

Like many women who don’t get their way, she started to withdraw her attention. Her tone of voice shifted as her bitch shield went up. When I called her later that night, she told me she was too busy watching TV to talk.

It was the first time since the day we met that she didn’t ask to speak to me before bed.

Now most guys bug out when something like this happens and fearfully rush in to make amends. So what do you think I did?

Literally, nothing.

I knew exactly what was going on with her. She wasn’t pulling a power move, or trying to get me to give in. She was just legitimately hurt and her brain was concocting all sorts of weird scenarios that were making her nauseous.

All I had to do was sit back and wait for her to snap out of it. Wigging out and trying to “fix” things was the wrong move.

The right move was no move. So I backed off completely and gave her space.

It took until 6pm the next day before she started sending the “I miss you” texts. She eventually explained that her crazy thoughts had her twisted up in knots.

“You don’t want to see me for big holiday so I thought I was wrong about our fate, and you can’t be dream man if you don’t show love and care for me, and now I can’t show you off to girls and blah, blah.”

She jumped to the worst possible conclusions because, deep down, she’s deathly afraid that I may not feel the same way about her. And this happened because she’s already completely in love.

She already started calling herself my girlfriend. She’s contemplating moving up here to be with me (because I won’t move to Miami).

I only met her 4 weeks ago. We’ve hung out less than 8 days, in total. She’s very intelligent and self-aware and knows it’s completely irrational for her to feel this way, so soon.

But she can’t help it. And she doesn’t want to help it. This is EXACTLY what she’s been waiting to feel her entire life.

My falling-in-love-protocol is insanely powerful, and it shouldn’t be used with women you can’t imagine a future with. Because once they’re in love, walking away from them will absolutely obliterate their little hearts (and you don’t need that on your conscience).

But you DO need a woman who worships the ground you walk on, because she’ll make your life better in every way.

To wrap up the story, I know she’s even more attracted now because I stood my ground and gave her space to act all pouty and weird without trying to appease her (like 90% of men would have done).

She apologized for being a brat and then expressed how much I mean to her, as well as how sad she feels that she won’t be able to see me.

But she also said she’d be ok waiting until next month if that worked better for me.

So to reward her for snapping out of her funk and apologizing like an adult, I got her a ticket to come up here next weekend. (As explained in the relationship tactics video, you need to cultivate and reward good behavior.)

(Side Note: you know you’re a lazy old man when a boatful of half-naked Russian girls is less exciting than a fresh jar of prune juice.)

And since I’m trying to get back on good terms with the Big Man Upstairs, let me take a moment to thank him profusely for hooking up these $100 round-trip covid tickets. A godsend, if there ever was one.

That’s a wrap. But be sure to stay tuned for the rest of the saga:

Will I choose to impregnate Miami girl and trade in my beloved Scorpion AR-9 for a triple stroller?

Or will my inherent frugality cause me to ghost her when airfare gets bumped back to normal?

Such a nail-biter. Stay tuned…

-The East Coast’s Cheapest & Laziest Coochie Coach

Instagram: @jaycataldo
Twitter: @jaycataldo
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