I’m sad, fam. One of my mentors just passed away.
Well, technically the term is “cancelled,” but he’d be better off dead, tbh.
This headline popped up in my feed today:
“Pepe Le Pew Won’t Be Appearing in Warner Bros’ ‘Space Jam’ Sequel”
Some feminist with a Y chromosome tweeted the following nonsense about my beloved Pepe:
“RW blogs are mad bc I said Pepe Le Pew added to r@pe culture. Let’s see. 1. He grabs/kisses a girl/stranger, repeatedly, w/o consent and against her will. 2. She struggles mightily to get away from him, but he won’t release her 3. He locks a door to prevent her from escaping.” – some whiny mangina
This tweet really bothered me because you’ll see me use ALL of Pepe’s seduction methods in the Mindvana videos. For example:
“1. He grabs/kisses a girl/stranger, repeatedly, w/o consent and against her will.”
Yes, I smooch the Mindvana girls repeatedly as they try in vain to dodge my kisses. And we all know that hypnosis can force someone to do ANYTHING YOU WANT against their will (like empty their bank account, which is how I became a billionaire).
“2. She struggles mightily to get away from him, but he won’t release her”
You’ll frequently see girls struggling mightily to get away from me, as they o-gasm repeatedly in my lap. (If they were serious about pushing me away, they would have spent more time in the gym building their upper body strength, amirite?)
“3. He locks a door to prevent her from escaping.”
My office door stays locked to prevent my officemates from investigating the moans and screams of my victims. (And also to keep the girls from escaping.)
The pattern we’re seeing here is quite obvious, so I guess it’s time to spill the beans.
It should come as no surprise that Pepe was my one, true mentor who literally taught me EVERYTHING I know about hypnosis and seduction.
It was Pepe who birthed Mindvana many years before he selected me as his protégé and since inspired me to carry on his legacy (like Jigsaw from the Saw movies).
All of my “failures” that I refused to cut from the program were my failed attempts at tweaking the system to Pepe-levels of perfection.
And after many months of toiling, I can honestly say that Pepe would be a proud poppa if he was still around to witness so many formerly-standoffish Mindvana girls eventually crawling into my lap for smoochy-time.
Not to mention the streams of vulgarities they text me, such as, “I mees your sweet stench,” and “I want to kees kees kees your pee-pee.”
Now it was Pepe who taught me to hang in there and persevere whenever a girl responds poorly to my initial attempts.
Everyone pegs Pepe as a tactless buffoon who’s oblivious to obvious rejection.
But many forget all the times his amour eventually had a change of heart (after hours of straight Mindvana-ing) and began chasing (and, dare I say, “HARASSING”) poor Pepe for the D.
Whenever this happened, Pepe would promptly get turned off and peace on outta there (and rightfully so, since it’s all about the chase).
Here are some clips to jog your memory:
What we can gather from this video evidence is that there’s no bigger turnoff than a woman coming on too strong.
I know this all too well.
Kym, Sabina, Katie, Ashlee, Diany, Savannah, Mya, Amaida (and many others who I filmed for Season 2) all harassed me repeatedly throughout the process, sometimes for MONTHS, afterwards.
There was nothing fun about any of it, mind you, but I suffered through it all because it was my DUTY to expand upon Pepe’s initial creation.
And now it’s time to pass the torch to YOU, my dear Mindvana maniac.
But ONLY if you’re ready to deal with the odoriferous fallout that comes with having multiple hotties writhing on your couch when you’re fresh out of wet wipes and quite light on Lysol.
I’d advise you to have a clothespin handy before you clicky-click on this link:
P.S. Some dude on twitter chimed in with this:
“If the NY Times says Pepe Le Pew adds to r@pe culture, what will they say about the Coming 2 America sequel where the entire plot is based on Leslie Jones date-r*ping Prince Akeem?”
I plan on watching this tonight so I can learn how to improve my chances of getting date r@ped. Maybe I need to dress like Prince.
P.P.S. Did I really just joke about that? In CURRENT YEAR??? My long overdue cancelling is coming any day now, so go scoop up my Pew Pew Seduction System before it’s too late.
Ciao for now,
Youtube: learn hypnosis in nyc