In yesterday’s email, I dropped a hint about the secret list-lurking co*ck-blocker, who’s been inadvertently attempting to rob me of my new favorite muse and poison my creative spirit.
Here’s what went down…
Yoga girl called me up yesterday in a pissy mood and wanted to know why I’m sharing intimate details about her life with the entire world.
“I see Lana today and Lana ask when I moving to New York! What the f&^k!”
Apparently, her friend told her I’ve been writing about us and mentioned her recent request to move in together on a trial basis.
I know this friend of hers personally and also know for a fact that she’s not on my mailing list – which means there’s another mystery list-lurker who’s feeding her friend info.
And while this wouldn’t normally be a big deal, my girl now assumes that I’ve been exposing all the intimate details of our relationship.
And if this was indeed the case, I could totally understand why she’d be pissed.
But every one of my stories is carefully crafted and all embarrassing details get removed. Before each email goes out, I consider the possible ramifications of my wording and adjust accordingly.
(Side note: Here’s a great tip for guys who want to get better at texting, called the “jumbotron test.” Before you hit “send” on any text message, imagine that it’s about to be displayed on the big screen for the entire stadium. If your message would embarrass you, then erase and re-compose.)
Back to my girl, she already knew from day one that I turn stories from my life into teaching tales for my readers. And that’s not something I’m ever willing to compromise.
Which brings us back to what we learned yesterday about not giving in to a woman’s ultimatums.
So what do you think I’d say if she flat-out demanded I stop writing about her? Probably something like this…
“Baby, you know I’m crazy about you. And you also know that this is what I do for a living. Since you’re such a big part of my life now, I can’t promise that I’ll never write about us again. So maybe it’s best if we end things now.”
And if she decides to call my bluff? Well, then I’m fu*ked because things would officially be over. But the only other alternative would be to give in, which I refuse to do.
And this isn’t macho B.S. on my part – I genuinely care for this girl and I’d definitely feel sad if I lost her. But I know I’d feel much worse if I compromised my principles.
I also know it’s a slippery slope that leads to an eventual loss of respect.
The stories I shared yesterday illustrate how VICIOUS a woman can be when she loses respect for you, and how you need to guard against this at all costs. (I can laugh and joke about these things now, because I’ve suffered through enough nonsense over the years that it no longer phases me. But I know how shocking and gut-wrenching it can be to a guy who’s never experienced it.)
And while the coc*kblocker in question (who most likely meant no harm) almost caused irreparable damage to both my relationship and my newsletter (just imagine how much you’d miss sexxxy email headlines like “Rambunctious Russian Girl Exposes Anti-PC Mind Control Tactic That Works Like Gangbusters”)…
…thankfully, it appears that all is well in Jay-land, since my girl surprised the heck out of me by handling things in a way that less than 1% of women would even consider doing.
“I’m very hurt inside. I don’t like you write about us. But I know it’s what you do for job, so please help me be ok with emails.”
In other words, she calmly expressed her feelings and, instead of asking me to change my behavior, she asked me to help her feel differently about it (yet another sign that I may have found a keeper).
(NOTE: For the ladies on my list, this is one of the best ‘tactics’ for getting your man to change an unwanted behavior. Instead of brute forcing him to change, just express your disappointment and ask him to help you be ok with said behavior. Most of the time, a man will happily offer up a compromise.)
She’s flying here on Friday, so I’m sure I’ll have some new stories for you next week. In the meantime, if you want the women in your life to be on their best behavior, while bending-over-backwards putting up with all of your crap, simply because they’d be DEVASTATED to lose you…
…then become the only man who can give them the FEELINGS they desperately crave. And you can learn how right here:
P.S. As much as I dislike drama, I understand that women NEED to have some in their lives, therefore, incidents like this are actually USEFUL in many ways (provided you don’t let them get out of control). Don’t be afraid of drama, nor be quick to resolve it; instead, get good at MANAGING it and you’ll have much happier relationships, overall. The more you know. 😉
Ciao for now,
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