These quarantine douches just hooked you up

If you’ve been super-stressed over everything that’s going on, then I wanna help you get your head straight, fr-ee of charge.

Here’s why…

While being trapped in the house is no picnic, what’s even more aggravating to me are all the sales pitches flooding my inbox – especially the ones from other hypnotists.

Yes, we all have to make a living. But I just think it’s douchey to push products on your email list when so many people are struggling financially.

Unless, of course, you’re pushing a “viral immunity” hypnosis track, which renders listeners impervious to covid-19, sars, mers and leprosy.

Even more enticing is the “Corona Pickup” course, which promises to lift the covid-19 co*kblock and deliver up a plethora of poon for the duration of the apocalypse..


A couple weeks ago, I sent out two free stress reduction mp3’s to help you take the edge off of all the craziness.

But considering that there’s no one better at helping people eliminate debilitating stress and elevate their mindsets, my conscience feels that I should be going the extra mile to help people out.

I’m also feeling a bit guilty, since I’ve been holed up in a mansion in Florida, stocked with enough food, ammo and toilet paper to be a serious threat come Goosey Night (Mischief Night, for all you non-eastcoasters).

So here’s the deal… if you’ve been stressing out out over the lockdown, your job security, or anything else, then just reply to this email and let me know that you’re interested in a private coaching session.

I’m still not sure how I’ll be choosing who to work with. Maybe I’ll run a contest or a raffle. We’ll see.

So yeah, if you need help staying sane throughout the chaos, just reply to this email and let me know.

Talk soon,


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